When we are at our darkest hour, some people will offer to help us get back on our feet. Unfortunately, not everyone who offers assistance does so with a giving heart, and they may even be attempting to manipulate us for their own benefit. It is not very difficult for a person to get what they want out of us when they feel we owe them because of the burden of gratitude.
Dating is a particularly harmful method some men use to obligate young women into sex acts or a relationship they do not want. In the majority of instances, the man asks the woman out, and the man generally is the one who pays for the date. Some men will use this fact as a way to make the girl feel she owes him for the cost of dinners, movies, or trips.
Many women have taken to the habit of going Dutch, and paying for their own meals when they first begin getting to know someone. This is excellent advice, even if it leaves some young girls unable to afford dating. Better to avoid indebtedness than to allow themselves to be manipulated into undesired acts as payment for a free meal.
Religious institutions are notorious for using indebtedness for help as a way to get new members. It is perfectly legal for them to require attendance at services as payment for help given to homeless people. In a perfect world, one would be able to get food, clothing, and shelter without being required to embrace a particular religious doctrine, but that is not how most churches approach it.
Parents who use free housing or child care as leverage over their adult children are guilty of the same thing. It is not legal for them to require grown children to adhere to curfews, but they will do exactly that in order to keep control of where there children go or who they see in their spare time. These restrictions are manipulative, and no parent should try to force rules on adults in order to control them.
It is a shameful fact, but anyone offering help must be evaluated to determine if there is an ulterior motive. So often the person who is most solicitous of our needs is simply a person who seeks to gain an advantage over us in some way. Sometimes their intention is to learn as much as they can about an individual for the sole purpose of spreading gossip.
Anyone who offers to help their friends should evaluate their own motives when they make such offers. We must be willing to get from a place of generosity, and not because we want to get something out of them for ourselves. Assistance or money given should never be done with the intention of getting repaid, or laid.
We all need help at some point in life, but the sad fact remains that others will take advantage of us at such a time. Perhaps we should seek help from a stranger rather than a friend. Family, friends, coworkers, and especially exes just might not have what is best for us in mind when they extend their assistance.
Dating is a particularly harmful method some men use to obligate young women into sex acts or a relationship they do not want. In the majority of instances, the man asks the woman out, and the man generally is the one who pays for the date. Some men will use this fact as a way to make the girl feel she owes him for the cost of dinners, movies, or trips.
Many women have taken to the habit of going Dutch, and paying for their own meals when they first begin getting to know someone. This is excellent advice, even if it leaves some young girls unable to afford dating. Better to avoid indebtedness than to allow themselves to be manipulated into undesired acts as payment for a free meal.
Religious institutions are notorious for using indebtedness for help as a way to get new members. It is perfectly legal for them to require attendance at services as payment for help given to homeless people. In a perfect world, one would be able to get food, clothing, and shelter without being required to embrace a particular religious doctrine, but that is not how most churches approach it.
Parents who use free housing or child care as leverage over their adult children are guilty of the same thing. It is not legal for them to require grown children to adhere to curfews, but they will do exactly that in order to keep control of where there children go or who they see in their spare time. These restrictions are manipulative, and no parent should try to force rules on adults in order to control them.
It is a shameful fact, but anyone offering help must be evaluated to determine if there is an ulterior motive. So often the person who is most solicitous of our needs is simply a person who seeks to gain an advantage over us in some way. Sometimes their intention is to learn as much as they can about an individual for the sole purpose of spreading gossip.
Anyone who offers to help their friends should evaluate their own motives when they make such offers. We must be willing to get from a place of generosity, and not because we want to get something out of them for ourselves. Assistance or money given should never be done with the intention of getting repaid, or laid.
We all need help at some point in life, but the sad fact remains that others will take advantage of us at such a time. Perhaps we should seek help from a stranger rather than a friend. Family, friends, coworkers, and especially exes just might not have what is best for us in mind when they extend their assistance.
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